The good, the better and the suspension...

Life goes on, a new year and new possibilities.
I am deep in books not yet written, full of ideas and have energy like never before (perhaps illness leaving the body) and I love it all.
Listening to Bruce Springsteen - Dancing In The Dark, didn't know I liked Bruce, but apperantly I do.

December was a fun month, the best month in a very long time (beats most of them, to be honest).

To wrap up 2009 once and for all, and I could go on forever, I must say it was the year when I put more value to my life and saw the many possibilities that lay right in front of me. I'm single, strong and inspired. Just the way I like it.

The near future holds plenty of adventure, hard work and fun work. Playtime is put aside as life is taking new turns, long hours working is combined with... long hours working ;)

And to comment on the photos of the suspension (you noticed the hooks, right?), it's the closest thing to spirituality I have ever come. It's so different and not at all like I thought... The pain of putting in hooks to your back is... nothing, really, to mention. Doesn't hurt. At least not in the upper back. The suspension itself is more mental than physical, as all the barriers I crossed were in my mind rather than in the body.
And to overcome mental barriers doesn't hurt!
But I wasn't prepared for the brutal massage Chai & Fredrik took the kind liberty to give me... That is PAIN, I tell you. You get air in under the skin as you hang (natural, as the hooks release the top layers of skin from the tissue below, making space for air to enter the body). This air needs to be taken out, a procedure the guys so nastily call a massage, allthough it's nothing like I've ever pictured having a massage by two men ;)
They press skin towards the holes from the hooks (by then taken out) and this is painfull and the air is... air. A bit tricky to get out.
So imagine two strong men trying to force air out from under your skin, with fresh hookmarks as the exit they're aming for.

But that doesn't stop me from planning my second suspension in a few months. The waiting is the hardest part, as someone once sang.

Photo of the Year

I simply love this photo, taken by Chai Maibert

Suicide suspension @ CALM Body Modification

Chai gave me 4 large hooks in the back

and Fredrik helped me get off the ground.

The most amazing experience ever...

December in pictures

I'm hooked

Tired today, yesterday was very exciting, with the suspension and everything. :) It was not what I had prepared myself mentally for; the hooks didn't hurt to put in, but the suspension itself... It was a mental hurdle I found very hard. To force your mind to do something it knows it doesn't have to do is much harder than I could ever imagine.
But Im so happy I did it!
Chai & Fredrik at CALM Bodymodification here in Stockholm did an amazing job, I'll post photos soon.
It was a great experience and I am sure I will do it again.

And today is Johannas birthday: Happy birthday sweetie!

So close to Christmas, and I'm off from work for 9 days, which is such a luxary! I really need some time off. :)

ending 2009

Last few weeks have been painful, with the extraction of a tooth and all...
But now i'm recovering and planning ahead. Can't believe it's just a few weeks left until christmas!

Think this year will end on a very positive note, I'll have fun and experience new things (photos may be published later on).

And i try to figure out what to do in 2010... It's a chance to try new things and see new places. A chance to be less stuck in an uncomfortable situation. It's about time i broke free of the chains, so to say.

Internal rage

I'm trying to decide if this has been a great day of writing or a lazy day for doing nothing but writing... At least I've enjoyed it. And it went by far too fast. Not that its over, but its way less productivity out
of this day than I was aming for. I need structure and I need a little bit of ass-kicking when I don't do what I'm supposed to. Not that theres anyone around to kick it...

This new home of mine irritates me. Or to be exact; my attitude about getting things done here irritates me. I have lost my balance. I expect things to be fixed and sorted before I even build a base for it to be fixed on.
I'm shit. More or less.
This month was supposed to be an adventure, but it's turning out to be a long wait for things to start happening.

And I now know that I hate the walls here. They are cement (or whatever it is), and any thing to be put up needs to be drilled. Wich means that I have to ask Peder, it sucks.
Can't wait until I made this place more livable.

Prison with spiders...

Im trapped in my home today, it's no joke.
There's a huge machine (a digging thing) that's neatly parked right across the only exitpoint... What to do? Not that I need to go anywhere, but it would be nice, in case of a fire or something. So I'm stuck here about to go bananas over the cage some worker so thoughtfully made my home...
What a day...
I guess I have to do with what I have and get going on the curtains I never manage to find time to make. Now I have no exuse at all I guess.

There are quite many spiders here, too many if you ask me. Any spider relocation center out there?