Here we go again...

Life, life, life... what a thing.

Feels like this summer has been spent being ill, since I managed to get a bad infection when I got a new tattoo. Well, that's the punishment for getting tattooed in the heat of summer, when infections come too easily, I guess.

But I'm better now, both me and the tattoo survived, thankfully.

I have come to the conclusion that I take myself too seriously and I should stop telling people about all my big plans this way or that way, since I hardly ever stand on course long enough to follow through with things... What can I say, I'm very excited day one and then I happen to get a new idea and all of a sudden I I think of something else and poof! I'm heading in a new direction.

Confusing for some, everyday life for me.

Sorry everybody.

Why do books have to take up so much space? I've run out of storage for my precious books... I swear, the bookcase is filled beyond maximum capacity. What now? To stop buying books is not an option.

I have an order I made online and I dread when they arrive... Maybe I can put my new arrivals in the cupboard next to the pasta and rice?

A cute turtle I found at Skansen a few weeks ago.

Personal Dreams

Shopping, one of my loved ways of passing time. Today has been filled of shopping, I was in Skärholmen in the afternoon and bought a sleepingbag, air matress, pump, bag, panties and socks. And earplugs. And cotton pads for make up removal. And 50% ownership in a tent.
And just a short while ago (like an hour ago) I bought some goodies online. A collection box filled with 3 CD's and one DVD by k.d. lang, a collection box with 4 movies starring Robert DiNero and a CD filled with hits from the 60's.

I have been thinking about shopping and the fact that I tend to spend my money on things which in the long run doesn't give me any positive feelings. I tend to buy boring things, instead of buying what I really want.
Some few days ago I took matters in my own hands and wrote down a list of things that I really want, small expenses which would make my life feel better.
I am a firm believer in making one's dreams come true. With a limited income, it's not possible to do huge, crazy things like building my own house, but I do have the possibility of changing the little details I'm not happy with.
So what did I do?
I looked at what I disliked at home; what I wanted to change without spending too much money. And my first goal was to; throw out all panties I never use and replace them with new ones that I really like, buy music and films which I really like instead of wishing I had.

It sounds simple, doesn't it?
I mean, why have lots of panties in the drawers which I never use anyways? They lay there and take up space and I would never wear them. It felt good to throw them away once and for all.
And I love music and movies and I do want to support the artists, not the free download sites online. So this month I have bought 8 CD's and the 4 movie collection I mentioned above.

Life is too short to deny myself to live it the way I want to, these little details in life is to some extent about thinking; I deserve it.
I believe the quality of life is in many ways up to ourselves to decide. We wake up every day and we decide what to do with it. In this world that means money is involved in many aspects of living out your dreams. But you don't have to be rich to see your personal dreams come true. Look for what you can do instead of what you can't.

Update

Oh my... So much has happened since I last wrote here. I don't know where to start. I ended 2010 pretty drastically by peaking in my depression. Well, I tried to kill myself. That led to good care from professionals and I can say that I feel much better now. I make progress and try my best to live a better life. I get the help I need and I feel like the future is much brighter for me now than it's been in a long time.

This summer seemes to be based on great music; on June 22nd, I will see Foo Fighters live here in Stockholm, then I'll go to Peace & Love Festival June 28 - July 2; including Bob Dylan, Bad Religion and much much more fantastic music. I'll be working there as a volonteer, in the beer tents. Fun!